AliExpress experiments - Non-watch products

[sub4me]

I heard the fakes are made of goat hair.

 

[JAFO]

Which seller had the jeweled butt plugs?? Those were really nice.

Ok, sorry, my part time chick kept me on the phone. Women, right?

Now, that one isn't the cheapest one I found. But the seller ships via e packet and says they ship out within 3 days. So you're looking at probably a week and a half before delivery. This one is supposedly 100% stainless steel so it should have good weight to it. The seller has good feedback for an Aliseller and their rating is pretty high. So I'd give this one a shot. Here's the non clickable link:

http://www.aliexpress.com/item/Metal-Mini-Anal-Toys-Butt-Plug-Booty-Beads-Stainless-Steel-Crystal-Jewel-anal-small-butt-plug/1872323864.html?spm=2114.01010208.3.153.DpsLPD&ws_ab_test=searchweb201556_9,searchweb201602_4_10036_10035_10034_507_10020_10001_10002_10017_10010_10005_10011_10006_10003_10021_10004_10022_10009_10008_10018_10019_100,searchweb201603_8&btsid=2a8f74ee-a059-4bcc-b0bd-34b55e0177ff

 

[sub4me]

Has this been TxThrob tested??

 

[kopola347]

Does anybody know Hamilton /Ventura link?

Interesting watch, Cindy had it last time i checked, @yupoo: http://v.yupoo.com/photos/watch345/albums/34804813/

Her aliexpress looks closed at the moment, I'd send her a message through yupoo detals
http://s.click.aliexpress.com/e/6U72nEiAY

 

[JAFO]

Has this been TxThrob tested??

Rob is out doing product testing on the new line of RCLC Bawllz Stretchers. So no, he has not passed any of these out at the truck stops and bath houses to see how people like them. However, I will be overnighting one to him once it comes in. He is a very manly man so we'll have to rely on his reporting of other people's reviews. And yes, we will only be sending ONE to him to pass around for testing. And a can of Clorox wipes to clean it with between reviewers. And maybe some rubber gloves. With the fingers cut off.

 

[RepPossessed]

This has turned from the most annoying thread to the most entertaining!

 

[xpletiv]

What's the mm diameter of that lovely piece of stainless?

 

[WingNut]

Rob is out doing product testing on the new line of RCLC Bawllz Stretchers. So no, he has not passed any of these out at the truck stops and bath houses to see how people like them. However, I will be overnighting one to him once it comes in. He is a very manly man so we'll have to rely on his reporting of other people's reviews. And yes, we will only be sending ONE to him to pass around for testing. And a can of Clorox wipes to clean it with between reviewers. And maybe some rubber gloves. With the fingers cut off.

Robbie is the man...I remember his stellar review work with the Ali rubber fists awhile back...can't remember the link, but kept the pic...

 

[MSAMatt]

Ok, sorry, my part time chick kept me on the phone. Women, right?

Now, that one isn't the cheapest one I found. But the seller ships via e packet and says they ship out within 3 days. So you're looking at probably a week and a half before delivery. This one is supposedly 100% stainless steel so it should have good weight to it. The seller has good feedback for an Aliseller and their rating is pretty high. So I'd give this one a shot. Here's the non clickable link:

http://www.aliexpress.com/item/Meta..._8&btsid=2a8f74ee-a059-4bcc-b0bd-34b55e0177ff

can the seller ship discrete and maybe a green jewel instead?

 

[MSAMatt]

I'll share my review of the Monstro Humpty Bumpty, you can get them on Ali for around tree fiddy. shipped.

I bought the Monstro Humpty Bumpty Big Huge Giant Butt Plug with high expectations. I moved into the wonderful world of massive butt plugs as a New Years Resolution on Jan. 1, 2016. Prior to that I dabbled mostly in the small to medium range plugs. This year, however, things were gonna be different. What brought me to this plug was the three graduated knobs that I thought would help with insertion. Plus I love the black color for obvious reasons. In addition it is a monster plug, one that I knew would be a challenge to bury.

It was mid October when I finally pulled the trigger and ordered it. When the UPS dude handed it to me, he had no idea what he was delivering. I had it delivered at the office where I work as I didn't want wifey opening the box had it been delivered to my home. She wouldn't understand and knows nothing of this hobby of mine. By the weekend I had two hours of alone time to acquaint myself with “Lebron” as I named him. Setting the thing on the table I was taken by it's very cool lines. Someone really put a lot of thought into the architecture of the thing. I had to admit I had my doubts that I'd be able to handle all three segments. After some warm up exercises and a shot of gin I dove right into it. I usually like the shower to be my battleground for such endeavors. After a thorough cleaning of it with hand soap I set Lebron right on the shower floor and took a few deep breaths in with zen-like focus. Next I applied a dollop of vaseline to it. Basically I then just sat down on it. First thing I noticed was the base didn't offer the best support. It takes a lot of down pressure to get the first segment inside and the thing kept sliding out and falling over. Those were some frustrating moments wanting badly to get the party started, but not being able to achieve take-off. This might not be a problem if you had a partner to shove the thing inside. But I fly solo. After ten somewhat awkward minutes I finally hit pay-dirt. Think of a snake swallowing an egg. The first segment slipped in with a woosh. The second segment was actually easier, but the third segment was a bear. It fought for twenty minutes to get over the final hump before I finally ringed it. There is a tapering from the third segment to the final base shaft which causes the thing to essentially cork itself within you. If the base itself didn't taper back out, the thing would disappear inside you quicker than a ground hog into it's den. I wish they would have engineered it with a larger base shaft as well as a much larger base. With me, I came very close to swallowing the base shaft AND the base itself in one sudden motion. Luckily I saw it coming and was able to squeeze off at just the right time. Caught it by a hair though. Once one of these giants plants itself deep, even a proctologist will scratch his head trying to figure out a plan of extraction. I avoided that scenario, though, and quickly slipped into seventh heaven. I actually giggled aloud at my accomplishment, before feeling myself drift into deep relaxation. The plastic is just the right hardness and there are no imperfections such as mold lines which can ruin an experience quickly. The length is perfect and the graduations are nearly perfectly spaced to give you that fullness at just the right spots.

I spent around twenty minutes with it buried before setting about diggin the thing back out. Pulling such a large object out with such a small base is tough in the shower. There is not enough purchase to get your fingers on it when it's wet from shower water mixed with lube. But I finally managed to get him out. Once you back it out past the largest segment the thing rockets out like there's no tomorrow. I wasn't expecting it and the thing flew out and knocked over wifey's array of candles she keeps in the shower niche. All in all I think it's a very good product and appears well made. The thing is definitely built for the long haul. It's a substantial, quality plug. I'd have given it five stars except that I truly believe the final base shaft should be at least 3/4 of an inch larger, and the base itself should be two inches wider and one inch longer. What a nice ride though. It's a great piece of equipment for any big plugger to have in his arsenal. One final note. Did the company really needs to give it a name with eleven syllables? Instead of the Monstro Humpty Bumpty Big Huge Giant Butt Plug, how about calling it something simple, like Lebron?

 

[JAFO]

What's the mm diameter of that lovely piece of stainless?

Sorry - I should have included that! It's 7.5 x 2.8 cm. It's a SMALL so it should fit everybody. And since at least like five of us have never tried a butt plug I figured I would post up a small sized one. I'm sure the seller can get bigger sizes upon request.

 

[JAFO]

can the seller ship discrete and maybe a green jewel instead?

You can get it with a green jewel. I'd message the seller and ask him/her to mark the package "jewelry".

 

[JAFO]

Robbie is the man...I remember his stellar review work with the Ali rubber fists awhile back...can't remember the link, but kept the pic...

This is too much of a coincidence! The married chick I've been banging told me she wanted to "experiment" and that's the perfect toy!!! Dude - seriously - go check your purchase history and send me the link via PM!!

 

[MSAMatt]

You can get it with a green jewel. I'd message the seller and ask him/her to mark the package "jewelry".

im going to have to, with all of my recent purchases im beginning to wonder the the manufacturers are going to start asking me to be a spokesman.

 

[sub4me]

I still can't find the ball scratcher seller. Anybody located a good source yet??

 

[JAFO]

I'll share my review of the Monstro Humpty Bumpty, you can get them on Ali for around tree fiddy. shipped.

I bought the Monstro Humpty Bumpty Big Huge Giant Butt Plug with high expectations. I moved into the wonderful world of massive butt plugs as a New Years Resolution on Jan. 1, 2016. Prior to that I dabbled mostly in the small to medium range plugs. This year, however, things were gonna be different. What brought me to this plug was the three graduated knobs that I thought would help with insertion. Plus I love the black color for obvious reasons. In addition it is a monster plug, one that I knew would be a challenge to bury.

It was mid October when I finally pulled the trigger and ordered it. When the UPS dude handed it to me, he had no idea what he was delivering. I had it delivered at the office where I work as I didn't want wifey opening the box had it been delivered to my home. She wouldn't understand and knows nothing of this hobby of mine. By the weekend I had two hours of alone time to acquaint myself with “Lebron” as I named him. Setting the thing on the table I was taken by it's very cool lines. Someone really put a lot of thought into the architecture of the thing. I had to admit I had my doubts that I'd be able to handle all three segments. After some warm up exercises and a shot of gin I dove right into it. I usually like the shower to be my battleground for such endeavors. After a thorough cleaning of it with hand soap I set Lebron right on the shower floor and took a few deep breaths in with zen-like focus. Next I applied a dollop of vaseline to it. Basically I then just sat down on it. First thing I noticed was the base didn't offer the best support. It takes a lot of down pressure to get the first segment inside and the thing kept sliding out and falling over. Those were some frustrating moments wanting badly to get the party started, but not being able to achieve take-off. This might not be a problem if you had a partner to shove the thing inside. But I fly solo. After ten somewhat awkward minutes I finally hit pay-dirt. Think of a snake swallowing an egg. The first segment slipped in with a woosh. The second segment was actually easier, but the third segment was a bear. It fought for twenty minutes to get over the final hump before I finally ringed it. There is a tapering from the third segment to the final base shaft which causes the thing to essentially cork itself within you. If the base itself didn't taper back out, the thing would disappear inside you quicker than a ground hog into it's den. I wish they would have engineered it with a larger base shaft as well as a much larger base. With me, I came very close to swallowing the base shaft AND the base itself in one sudden motion. Luckily I saw it coming and was able to squeeze off at just the right time. Caught it by a hair though. Once one of these giants plants itself deep, even a proctologist will scratch his head trying to figure out a plan of extraction. I avoided that scenario, though, and quickly slipped into seventh heaven. I actually giggled aloud at my accomplishment, before feeling myself drift into deep relaxation. The plastic is just the right hardness and there are no imperfections such as mold lines which can ruin an experience quickly. The length is perfect and the graduations are nearly perfectly spaced to give you that fullness at just the right spots.

I spent around twenty minutes with it buried before setting about diggin the thing back out. Pulling such a large object out with such a small base is tough in the shower. There is not enough purchase to get your fingers on it when it's wet from shower water mixed with lube. But I finally managed to get him out. Once you back it out past the largest segment the thing rockets out like there's no tomorrow. I wasn't expecting it and the thing flew out and knocked over wifey's array of candles she keeps in the shower niche. All in all I think it's a very good product and appears well made. The thing is definitely built for the long haul. It's a substantial, quality plug. I'd have given it five stars except that I truly believe the final base shaft should be at least 3/4 of an inch larger, and the base itself should be two inches wider and one inch longer. What a nice ride though. It's a great piece of equipment for any big plugger to have in his arsenal. One final note. Did the company really needs to give it a name with eleven syllables? Instead of the Monstro Humpty Bumpty Big Huge Giant Butt Plug, how about calling it something simple, like Lebron?

Just one question: was the gin "export strength"?

 

[WingNut]

This is too much of a coincidence! The married chick I've been banging told me she wanted to "experiment" and that's the perfect toy!!! Dude - seriously - go check your purchase history and send me the link via PM!!

I'll get back to you as soon as I can...got to dig deep...no pun intended.

 

[JAFO]

im going to have to, with all of my recent purchases im beginning to wonder the the manufacturers are going to start asking me to be a spokesman.

No, you don't have to worry about that, what with all the people buying cheap crap off there. I think Ali made like 37 gazillion dollars last year, mostly from dildos and stuff like that. So these sellers won't be asking you to advertise for them.

 

[MSAMatt]

Just one question: was the gin "export strength"?

Sadly no.

 

[JAFO]

I'll get back to you as soon as I can...got to dig deep...no pun intended.

Well hurry it up - she's all worked up for some safe make believe jungle love and her husband is gonna be out of town this weekend.