Being clear up front - this isn’t a tale of hitting bottom or sadness or convincing you not to drink. This isn’t “I’m in AA” - no disrespect to those that are intended - and this isn’t “you should do as I do”.
My stopping drinking alcohol, admittedly after a big afternoon dragged on into a big night - not the biggest or wildest but still not a quiet one - was a case of “I’ve been doing this drinking thing for an awfully long time… and it’s getting repetitive”
Drinking alcohol is not something I will personally do again, which is something I don’t widely discuss IRL, and I’m sharing what I’ve found to be good options to allow me not to need to shout about it in public by sipping lemonade.
These are a few observations to share on non-alcoholic options which I’ve liked and those I haven’t, which allow you to “not drink” alcohol by stealth in public, or may allow you to enjoy the flavour or vibe of the day as you may otherwise have without grabbing a beer or a wine with alcohol in it.
These may be useful to you if you’re looking to mix some temperate options into a night out, or if health reasons prevent you from enjoying a cold one on a warm day - I’ve got a family who had a stroke and misses good wine - or if you want to not let on among work colleagues or clients that while they are getting progressively more relaxed and talkative, you’re watching and listening as sober as a judge.
Top shelf
Guinness Zero in the widget can - if you like a Guinness and wouldn’t mind a non alcoholic option, you would be hard pressed to know this was not the real thing when drinking it, and unless they see the can, no one else is going to know either. As filling as the alcohol containing cousin, too.
Free Dam - As summer threatens to turn into autumn in the UK, this thing glided up the rankings and washed away most of the competition.
Birell - Central Europe knows beer and how to do it without alcohol as well as with it. I spent a few years there and I could talk to the alcohol containing cousins of these for hours, but Birell Blue and all the Radlers of theirs I’ve tried have been excellent.
[May Day 2024 edit] Peroni Zero - got to try it Friday, it is ever so slightly lighter in flavour than how I recall the full power cousin, but it lacks the unnecessary aftertaste of a few of the other temperate options. After trying it Friday, I had a couple more on the weekend, and another this week. This has managed to knock Asahi off its perch as my “go to”.
Asahi Dry Zero - a really good rendition of the standard Asahi can that just won’t be noticed as a sneaky temperate option in the dark, which also tastes very close to the alcohol containing cousin - just a tiny bit sweeter, and a bit more of an aftertaste.
Jukes cordials - I never got too far into wine, but if you want to try something with a not dissimilar flavour profile in a temperate format, this is what I got recommended by the sommelier at a rather good three Michelin star venue for pairings with an 8 course meal - all flavours/pairings I tried were exceptional.
Becks Blue - The proper, German brewed Becks was my favourite beer when I drank, and the first Becks I ever had in a cold mug on a warm day as an underage lad is a memory which lives on in my heart and mind… but in a non-alcoholic contest, this cousin falls before Asahi, while it still comfortably deserves to be on the podium.
Honourable mentions
Corona Cero - If like me you enjoy or used to enjoy a Mexican style lager like Sol (a Caguma bottle of that sitting on a balcony on hot, still day - oh my, I miss that) or Corona, and seek a temperate alternative, this may work for you… this has a more biting flavour and a lingering corn type aftertaste than the alcoholic version which gets more pronounced as it warms up.
Heineken Zero - like its alcohol containing cousin, imthe Heineken does the job, is widely available, but isn’t on the same level as the Becks or Asahis. You can almost feel that this is one that Interbev kinda said “good enough, ship it” as MVP, rather than swinging for the fences.
[revised in June 24] Moretti Zero - full disclosure, the alcohol containing Moretti is not a beer I ever enjoyed but it’s the standard beer option at many Italian places in London, so I’d very often get stuck with it in the past. It tastes as though this has had a formulation tweak “between drinks” because the bitterness on this one has been scaled back versus the last time I dared to press my luck. If you want something which you’ll be able to taste through spicier dishes, as distinct from just being a “cleansing ale” in the heat or to tackle too much spice like a Corona, this is a good choice.
Tonic and ice - product of a night out with work which was attended by a professional athlete, while everyone else with us was several G&Ts deep, I observed that this athlete held their drink very well and looked as sober as me. I was given a wink and I was very quietly informed later that the trick was that this athlete’s manager asked the bar staff to hold the gin in theirs.
Not worth your time
Leffe - vanilla and cloves do not a beer make. YMMV. You could probably make a rather good beer milkshake with it in the style of Cannery Row’s Doc. The bottles are just too small, too.
Budweiser Zero - as with the alcoholic US made stuff [I have nothing but love for the Czech cousin] it’s cold and wet, but so is Tasmania (and if you don’t know about Tasmania’s climate, do look it up). Don’t mistake me for ripping on beer in this bracket, I used to enjoy pounding a 40 of Cobra in the summertime, and for whatever anyone may say about bud, it is assuredly somewhat more refined (or at least, socially acceptable) compared with malt liquor. Noticeably more watery than the alcoholic cousin, with a punchier aftertaste which lacks any sense of refreshment - you could live with it if your goal was intoxication, sure, but if that factor is out, your excuses on this one are limited.
My stopping drinking alcohol, admittedly after a big afternoon dragged on into a big night - not the biggest or wildest but still not a quiet one - was a case of “I’ve been doing this drinking thing for an awfully long time… and it’s getting repetitive”
Drinking alcohol is not something I will personally do again, which is something I don’t widely discuss IRL, and I’m sharing what I’ve found to be good options to allow me not to need to shout about it in public by sipping lemonade.
These are a few observations to share on non-alcoholic options which I’ve liked and those I haven’t, which allow you to “not drink” alcohol by stealth in public, or may allow you to enjoy the flavour or vibe of the day as you may otherwise have without grabbing a beer or a wine with alcohol in it.
These may be useful to you if you’re looking to mix some temperate options into a night out, or if health reasons prevent you from enjoying a cold one on a warm day - I’ve got a family who had a stroke and misses good wine - or if you want to not let on among work colleagues or clients that while they are getting progressively more relaxed and talkative, you’re watching and listening as sober as a judge.
Top shelf
Guinness Zero in the widget can - if you like a Guinness and wouldn’t mind a non alcoholic option, you would be hard pressed to know this was not the real thing when drinking it, and unless they see the can, no one else is going to know either. As filling as the alcohol containing cousin, too.
Free Dam - As summer threatens to turn into autumn in the UK, this thing glided up the rankings and washed away most of the competition.
Birell - Central Europe knows beer and how to do it without alcohol as well as with it. I spent a few years there and I could talk to the alcohol containing cousins of these for hours, but Birell Blue and all the Radlers of theirs I’ve tried have been excellent.
[May Day 2024 edit] Peroni Zero - got to try it Friday, it is ever so slightly lighter in flavour than how I recall the full power cousin, but it lacks the unnecessary aftertaste of a few of the other temperate options. After trying it Friday, I had a couple more on the weekend, and another this week. This has managed to knock Asahi off its perch as my “go to”.
Asahi Dry Zero - a really good rendition of the standard Asahi can that just won’t be noticed as a sneaky temperate option in the dark, which also tastes very close to the alcohol containing cousin - just a tiny bit sweeter, and a bit more of an aftertaste.
Jukes cordials - I never got too far into wine, but if you want to try something with a not dissimilar flavour profile in a temperate format, this is what I got recommended by the sommelier at a rather good three Michelin star venue for pairings with an 8 course meal - all flavours/pairings I tried were exceptional.
Becks Blue - The proper, German brewed Becks was my favourite beer when I drank, and the first Becks I ever had in a cold mug on a warm day as an underage lad is a memory which lives on in my heart and mind… but in a non-alcoholic contest, this cousin falls before Asahi, while it still comfortably deserves to be on the podium.
Honourable mentions
Corona Cero - If like me you enjoy or used to enjoy a Mexican style lager like Sol (a Caguma bottle of that sitting on a balcony on hot, still day - oh my, I miss that) or Corona, and seek a temperate alternative, this may work for you… this has a more biting flavour and a lingering corn type aftertaste than the alcoholic version which gets more pronounced as it warms up.
Heineken Zero - like its alcohol containing cousin, imthe Heineken does the job, is widely available, but isn’t on the same level as the Becks or Asahis. You can almost feel that this is one that Interbev kinda said “good enough, ship it” as MVP, rather than swinging for the fences.
[revised in June 24] Moretti Zero - full disclosure, the alcohol containing Moretti is not a beer I ever enjoyed but it’s the standard beer option at many Italian places in London, so I’d very often get stuck with it in the past. It tastes as though this has had a formulation tweak “between drinks” because the bitterness on this one has been scaled back versus the last time I dared to press my luck. If you want something which you’ll be able to taste through spicier dishes, as distinct from just being a “cleansing ale” in the heat or to tackle too much spice like a Corona, this is a good choice.
Tonic and ice - product of a night out with work which was attended by a professional athlete, while everyone else with us was several G&Ts deep, I observed that this athlete held their drink very well and looked as sober as me. I was given a wink and I was very quietly informed later that the trick was that this athlete’s manager asked the bar staff to hold the gin in theirs.
Not worth your time
Leffe - vanilla and cloves do not a beer make. YMMV. You could probably make a rather good beer milkshake with it in the style of Cannery Row’s Doc. The bottles are just too small, too.
Budweiser Zero - as with the alcoholic US made stuff [I have nothing but love for the Czech cousin] it’s cold and wet, but so is Tasmania (and if you don’t know about Tasmania’s climate, do look it up). Don’t mistake me for ripping on beer in this bracket, I used to enjoy pounding a 40 of Cobra in the summertime, and for whatever anyone may say about bud, it is assuredly somewhat more refined (or at least, socially acceptable) compared with malt liquor. Noticeably more watery than the alcoholic cousin, with a punchier aftertaste which lacks any sense of refreshment - you could live with it if your goal was intoxication, sure, but if that factor is out, your excuses on this one are limited.
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