I am an international outlaw wanted by many governments around the world. The Russians think I sabotaged their recent moon mission and the Chinese have accused me of damaging the great wall with an out of control John Deere tractor; along with the more serious indictment of owning an unspecified number of rep watches. A little know tribe in the Amazon delta have issued death threats because they say I fathered 27 children while on an expedition there in 2003. In my defence, it was never that many. I change my identity regularly and never live in the same place for more than three months. I was forced to leave a promising career with MI6 after an unfortunate incident with a cucumber and an elderly tea lady, but I am able to live on the modest pension that they allocated to me. I repel companions, because close friends seem to disappear or fall from high rise buildings. I’m always looking over my shoulder and use a fifteen channel VPN network bounced off three satellites to access RWI... and that is why, regrettably, I cannot afford to expose my true identity to acquire certification.