I don't need another watch

[Dave2302]

First man: “My mother-in-law is an angel.” Second man: “You're a lucky fella, mine's still alive.”


What's the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law


A guy is driving along and sees his mother-in-law being attacked by seven blokes.
“Aren’t you going to help?!” asked his wife.
“No,” said the man, “seven should be enough.”


My mother-in-law stopped in for a visit.
“Staying long?” I asked.
“Just until I start getting on your nerves,” she replied.
“Oh, so you won’t even stay for a tea?”

I named my daughter after my mother-in-law ....
Miserable Passive Aggressive Nutcase just started secondary school.

 

[Wingding1984]

My mother in law fell down a wishing well.

I never knew those things worked.

 

[Oh Crap]

I love this forum.. from I don't need another watch to I don't need another mother in law

 

[Dave2302]

Why did the mother-in-law cross the road?


She thought it was a boundary.

 

[Warwickhunt]

And cars, and boats, and holidays and sex and alcoholic beverages etc etc ....................................................................................................

Sex? You're not still doing that are you.....? Give me a decent cuppa any day....

 

[Oh Crap]

Sex? You're not still doing that are you.....? Give me a decent cuppa any day....

My wife won't leave me alone...every time she sees me looking at watches she at it.. I don't understand why 🫣 is trying to protect me .. hardly

 

[Oh Crap]

My mother-in-law said she's a master chef. I told her the smoke detector disagrees.

 

[Jackster]

Why did the mother-in-law cross the road?


She thought it was a boundary.

Brain went Huh? Then it kicked in!

 

[Oh Crap]

I haven’t spoken to my mother in law for eighteen months – I don’t like to interrupt her.

 

[Oh Crap]

Oh no. It's Sunday. I ordered my watch on Friday and it hasn't arrived yet damn what do I do it's been 2 whole days

 

[Dave2302]

Start a thread crapping at the seller and insist you been scammed ....

Oh, wait, that's old hat now

 

[Warwickhunt]

Start a thread crapping at the seller and insist you been scammed ....

Oh, wait, that's old hat now

 

[Oh Crap]

Start a thread crapping at the seller and insist you been scammed ....

Oh, wait, that's old hat now

Funny you should say that... literally 30seconds ago I got tracking info..I'm telling ye lads this is a lucky watch, what with the ref number being my mobile phone number and actual tracking info, I think he's sending me a genuine pelagos

 

[Oh Crap]

I asked my mother-in-law if she had any regrets in life. She said, "Yes, my son-in-law."

 

[Dave2302]

My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're actually going to let her in.

 

[Dave2302]

I'm often accused of saying some pretty rotten things about my mother-in-law. But quite honestly, she's only got one major fault - it's called breathing.

 

[Wingding1984]

My mother-in-law looks like a million dollars.

All green and wrinkly.

 

[Oh Crap]

A husband and wife had a fight.

Wife called her mom: "He fought with me again, I am coming to stay with you."

Mom: "No dear, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to stay with you!

 

[Seagull88]

N+1.

 

[Dave2302]