While I was driving down the A1 the other day (going a little faster than I should have been),I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait.
His mate,waiting in the lay by further down the road ,pulled me over,walked up to the car and with that classic patronising smirk asked:
"Runway too short?"
To which I replied,"I'm late for work."
To which he asked,"What do you do?"
I responded," I'm a rectum stretcher."
The copper was surprised and confused:"A rectum stretcher and just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well,I start by inserting one finger,then I work my way up to two fingers,then three,then four,then with my whole hand in,work side to side until I can get both hands in and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole,until it's about six feet in diameter."
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously:"Just what do you do with a six foot arsehole?"
To which I politely replied,"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge."
Speeding ticket:£60.00
Penalty points:3
Court costs:£45.00
Look on copper's face
riceless.
His mate,waiting in the lay by further down the road ,pulled me over,walked up to the car and with that classic patronising smirk asked:
"Runway too short?"
To which I replied,"I'm late for work."
To which he asked,"What do you do?"
I responded," I'm a rectum stretcher."
The copper was surprised and confused:"A rectum stretcher and just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well,I start by inserting one finger,then I work my way up to two fingers,then three,then four,then with my whole hand in,work side to side until I can get both hands in and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole,until it's about six feet in diameter."
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously:"Just what do you do with a six foot arsehole?"
To which I politely replied,"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge."
Speeding ticket:£60.00
Penalty points:3
Court costs:£45.00
Look on copper's face
riceless.
