Paddy and Murphy fancy a pint,but only have a Euro between them.Paddy goes off and buys a sausage.Murphy says are you mad?Now we're broke!Come on says Paddy,follow me.They go into a pub, order two pints and drink them before they pay.Paddy shoves the sausage through the zipper of his jeans and tells Murphy to get down on his knees and suck it.The barman goes berserk and throws them out.Ten pubs and ten pints later Murphy says ,"I can't do this anymore,my knees are sore and I'm pissed""?.How do you think I feel?"says Paddy,"I can't remember which pub I lost the sausage in".....
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Paddy and Murphy
- Thread starter redbeard
- Start date
:lol1: Brilliant!!
Paddy, Murphy and Ali all go for a day out at the seaside. After walking round for a few hours they are all hungry and decide to go to a cafe. Once inside they're finding it hard to decide what to order, so Paddy says "I know, I support Liverpool so I'll have a liver and onion sandwich" Murphy says "Great idea! I support West Ham, so I'll have a ham sandwich" They both look at Ali, who is stood there scratching his head with a strange look on his face. He then says "Well I support Arsenal.. ..but I don't think I'll have anything!!"
Paddy, Murphy and Ali all go for a day out at the seaside. After walking round for a few hours they are all hungry and decide to go to a cafe. Once inside they're finding it hard to decide what to order, so Paddy says "I know, I support Liverpool so I'll have a liver and onion sandwich" Murphy says "Great idea! I support West Ham, so I'll have a ham sandwich" They both look at Ali, who is stood there scratching his head with a strange look on his face. He then says "Well I support Arsenal.. ..but I don't think I'll have anything!!"
Paddy's wife has never had an orgasm so they go to the doctors. After tests the doctor suggests that Paddy's wife may be overheating during sex.
Paddy refuses to buy a fan and decides to get his mate round to waft a towel on them during sex.
After 20 minutes of wafting, still no orgasm so his friend suggests a swap. "I'll bone her and you waft the towel". Paddy agrees and within seconds Paddy's wife is screaming in pleasure and has the best orgasm ever.
Paddy turns to his pal slowly and says, "And that my friend is how you waft a fcuking towel".
Paddy refuses to buy a fan and decides to get his mate round to waft a towel on them during sex.
After 20 minutes of wafting, still no orgasm so his friend suggests a swap. "I'll bone her and you waft the towel". Paddy agrees and within seconds Paddy's wife is screaming in pleasure and has the best orgasm ever.
Paddy turns to his pal slowly and says, "And that my friend is how you waft a fcuking towel".
Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him naked and wanking in front of a tractor!
Mick says, "Bloody hell Paddy what the fcuk are you doing?"
Paddy says, "Well me and the wife haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately and the therapist recommended I do something to atractor."
Mick says, "Bloody hell Paddy what the fcuk are you doing?"
Paddy says, "Well me and the wife haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately and the therapist recommended I do something to atractor."