I used to have a Labrador retriever and one day I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart. While I was in line to check out, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her no and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time after having lost 50 pounds. When I woke up I was in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that the diet was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. I noted that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall, black guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought the black guy was going to have to stagger out the door laughing so hard.
On impulse, I told her no and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time after having lost 50 pounds. When I woke up I was in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that the diet was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. I noted that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall, black guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought the black guy was going to have to stagger out the door laughing so hard.
