Yeah, I'm a sarcastic prick when I'm tired. Sue me.
Those of you who know me know that I have two big dogs, a Siberian Husky and a Plott Hound. They're awesome pets, and good dogs, but they eat like crazy. Since I don't want to become the snack du jour, I'm forever getting nickled and dimed by dog food, treats, etc. I usually buy dog food at Wal-Mart, because it's the same dog food as everywhere else, only cheaper.
But the other day I got off work at the hospital, and my wife asked if I could pick up some treats on the way home. Since I was on the other end of town from Wal-Mart, I grabbed a large bag of Meaty Bites at Copp's and was standing in line at the check-out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I'm starting The Meaty Bites Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 40 pounds before I woke up in an Intensive Care Unit in Marshfield, with tubes coming out of most every orifice and IV's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two of them every time you feel hungry, and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
**I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly the guy who was behind her.**
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the food. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought the one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
Fad diets...why the hell else would I be buying dog food, lady? :asshat:
I'm going back to Wal-Mart where they at least know me enough not to ask stupid questions.
Will
Those of you who know me know that I have two big dogs, a Siberian Husky and a Plott Hound. They're awesome pets, and good dogs, but they eat like crazy. Since I don't want to become the snack du jour, I'm forever getting nickled and dimed by dog food, treats, etc. I usually buy dog food at Wal-Mart, because it's the same dog food as everywhere else, only cheaper.
But the other day I got off work at the hospital, and my wife asked if I could pick up some treats on the way home. Since I was on the other end of town from Wal-Mart, I grabbed a large bag of Meaty Bites at Copp's and was standing in line at the check-out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I'm starting The Meaty Bites Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 40 pounds before I woke up in an Intensive Care Unit in Marshfield, with tubes coming out of most every orifice and IV's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two of them every time you feel hungry, and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
**I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly the guy who was behind her.**
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the food. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought the one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
Fad diets...why the hell else would I be buying dog food, lady? :asshat:
I'm going back to Wal-Mart where they at least know me enough not to ask stupid questions.
Will
