1. IN THE COMPANY OF FEMALES, INTERCOURSE SHOULD BE REFERRED TO AS:
A. Lovemaking.
B. Screwing
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.
2. YOU SHOULD MAKE LOVE TO A WOMAN FOR THE FIRST TIME ONLY AFTER YOU'VE BOTH SHARED:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. A bottle of tequila.
3. YOU ALWAYS TIME YOUR ORGASM SO THAT:
A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.
4. PASSIONATE, SPONTANEOUS SEX ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR IS:
A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.
5. SPENDING THE WHOLE NIGHT CUDDLING A WOMAN YOU'VE JUST HAD SEX WITH IS:
A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.
6. YOUR WIFE/GIRLFRIEND SAYS SHE'S GAINED FIVE POUNDS IN THE LAST MONTH. YOU TELL HER THAT IT IS:
A. Of no influence on your affection for her.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.
7. YOU THINK TODAY'S SENSITIVE, CARING MAN IS:
A. A myth.
B. An oxymoron.
C. A homosexual.
8. FOREPLAY IS TO SEX AS:
A. An appetiser is to an entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.
9. A WOMAN WHO IS UNCOMFORTABLE WATCHING YOU MASTURBATE:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
Evaluating Results:
-If you answered A more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really ARE a man.
-If you answered B more than 7 times, check into therapy. You're a little confused.
-If you answered C more than 7 times, YOU DA MAN!
A. Lovemaking.
B. Screwing
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.
2. YOU SHOULD MAKE LOVE TO A WOMAN FOR THE FIRST TIME ONLY AFTER YOU'VE BOTH SHARED:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. A bottle of tequila.
3. YOU ALWAYS TIME YOUR ORGASM SO THAT:
A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.
4. PASSIONATE, SPONTANEOUS SEX ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR IS:
A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.
5. SPENDING THE WHOLE NIGHT CUDDLING A WOMAN YOU'VE JUST HAD SEX WITH IS:
A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.
6. YOUR WIFE/GIRLFRIEND SAYS SHE'S GAINED FIVE POUNDS IN THE LAST MONTH. YOU TELL HER THAT IT IS:
A. Of no influence on your affection for her.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.
7. YOU THINK TODAY'S SENSITIVE, CARING MAN IS:
A. A myth.
B. An oxymoron.
C. A homosexual.
8. FOREPLAY IS TO SEX AS:
A. An appetiser is to an entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.
9. A WOMAN WHO IS UNCOMFORTABLE WATCHING YOU MASTURBATE:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
Evaluating Results:
-If you answered A more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really ARE a man.
-If you answered B more than 7 times, check into therapy. You're a little confused.
-If you answered C more than 7 times, YOU DA MAN!
