Give me your best limerick!

[daytona4me]

I'm in the limerick mood so I'll start us off but I want to hear your best limerick. Extra points awarded if you can work in something about watches!
In honor of C Master and the crazy weather he is getting, I submit to you "Madras".

There once was a man from madras
Whose balls were made of brass
In stormy weather They clang together
And sparks fly out of his ass!

 

[C Master]

I have one filthy ones daytona4me so reader discretion is more than advised. I am just praying this is a NSFW section lol.

There was a young girl from Madrid
who swore she'd never been rid
along came an Italian
with balls like a stallion
and rode her like Billy the kid


There was a old whore from Crewe
Who filled her vagina with glue
Says she with a grin,
If they pay to get in,
they can pay to get out of it too!


Jack and Jill went up the hill
so jack could lick Jill's fanny
but jack got a shock
and a mouth full of cock
when he found that Jill was a tranny


There once was a girl called Gill
Who fucked a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
In South Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil


There once was a man from Kent
Whose dick was so long that it bent.
To save himself trouble,
He put it in double,
And instead of coming, he went.


There once was a man from Nantucket
whos dick was so long he could suck it
and he thought to himself
as he put up a shelf
if my ear was a fanny I would fuck it

 

[daytona4me]

Those are awesome!!

 

[C Master]

Those are awesome!!

Fanny means something completely different over here than in the US as I imagine you know lol.

 

[LHD_Kid]

There once was a mouse called Keith,
Who circumsized kids with his teeth,
It wasn't for leisure,
Or sexual pleasure,
But to get to the cheese underneath



Mary had a little skirt
With slits right up the sides
And every time she crossed her legs
The boys could see her thighs

Mary had another skirt,
Which split right up the front

She doesn't wear that one...

 

[LHD_Kid]

Dupe post

 

[Seamaster3459]

There was once a barmaid from Sale
On whose chest tattooed the price of ale
And on her behind
For the sake of the blind
Was the same but in Braille

-Captain Peacock

 

[KateMidd]

There was a dude from Michigan
Who was a real hooligan
He liked girls and parties
And all sex derties
The firts stag on each brannigan