Gawd hates me.

[OiRogers]

True story of my past week... proof that some higher being somewhere hates me.

December 12th.... spent 1300usd on various items to improve my bathroom... new sink/cabinet/fixture and also toliet... also a few other minor upgrades to the bathroom... tile and shower tiles/soap dish thingy... unplanned expenditure of my offdays installing all this stuff...
Proof that God hates me: the sink drain. I know how to handle tools. I understand the concepts behind plumbing.... the damn thing sat 3/8" too high from the sink drain to the new trap... all the extension pieces I could find were at least 1"... WTF?... took a bit of ingenuity to get this thing finally assembled and leak-free... thought it was over... boy was I wrong.

December 14th... Mysterious Leak of water into my front hallway... Walking down the hall on the carpet... "pad, pad, pad, pad, squish, pad"... me thinks "squish... what the?...." Squish is not a natural carpet sound. Mind you I'm on my way out the door to work. I figure I messed up a pipe connection installing my new sink fixtures (which had required a large amount of brazing/soldering)... so I go seeking the leak. Nothing visible in the bathroom... There's a closet in my hallway that has a wall adjoining the bathroom.... baseboard is wet... figure the leak is in the pipes behind the sink.... I cut into the wall and remove a piece of drywall (inside the closet).. the pipes are fine... Look around a bit more... The water heater is leaking... yep, thought process as follows... "F$*% Me".

December 15th... Plumber called. I'm no idiot. My water heater is gas. I'm not messing with gas lines. I like living wayyy too much.... Five hours and 1700usd later my water heater is replaced... along with much-o other plumbing related crap that had to be brought up to code. Downfall of owning your own home I guess...

December 16th.... get home from work... wife is at the inlaws.... no biggie. Shes coming home. She gets home... blames my dog Steve (Rhodesian Ridgeback) for wrecking her car into a mailbox. WTF? (lots of WTF moments this week) 'Parantly, she put Steve and Pants (my Staffordshire Terrier) into her car and went to get our third dog from her parents backyard. Steve managed somehow to release the parking break on her car. Its that pull-lever type found on many sedans, how a dog released that is beyond me. The car rolled backward out of the driveway and ran over a neighbors mailbox and then hit their van. :shock: I guess I shouldn't be too suprised... Steve's a Rhodesian Ridgeback, they were bred to hunt lions, not drive Hondas.

Yes, you read that correctly. My dog, Steve, wrecked my wifes car.

Cut to December 17th... I make possibly the largest error the week. I tell my wife that Steve (the dog, remeber?) is a better driver then her... the dent in her car is about 1/6th the size of the dent she left in my back bumper when she drove my truck to work and backed it into a nice metal pole.... possibly the largest error of the week....

Laugh at me. Lighten your moods at my expense. Man I HATE Christmas... ever year this wierd stuff happens to me... I really do dread the coming of Christmas... I really hate this time of year.

 

[ThumbModds]

ROTFLMAO!!
Man what a sh!tty week, I feel for ya.

But X-mas day is always fun the stress of getting ready to go and making it on time to the in-laws always causes a arguement or fight.

Don't you just love the holidays. :lol:

 

[Novesh]

holy crap!

well good luck to you! I am sure you have a lot of good kharma coming your way.

 

[joeyz400]

They say bad things come in 3's. YOU ARE COVERED!!

Try to enjoy the holidays and your health.

 

[Up4anything]

They say bad things come in 3's. YOU ARE COVERED!!

Try to enjoy the holidays and your health.

But what if 3's come in 3's!?! He could have 6 more to go

 

[CRK]

This will make you feel better or at least make you laugh.

Saturday my son and I go to the brand new Ford dealership, they had a GT40 I had to see up close. We have a ball and decide to leave. My son is 4yrs old and yells to me, " race ya' to the car daddy".

I am a 38 year old 6ft man at around 225lbs. Not a small fella. we get to the car and I say now we are going to race to that light pole over there in the parking lot.

My son tears off running full blast, I am jogging behind and start to kick it into overdrive to catch and pass him for the win. Then it happened......... I fucking tripped, trying to run over the wheelchair ramp in the side walk.

It was a slowmotion kind of fall. the kind where you know its going to hurt but there is nothing you can do but cuss on the way down. So........As I was on the way to the VERY HARD concrete I yelled out OH SHIT!!!....

This was like a call to everyone in the parking lot to look at me at once.. I face planted so hard I split my lip, chin and cheek on my right side, along with skinning up a knee and the palms of both hands.

The apex was when my son reached the light pole, I was on the ground eating concrete with my face and with the whole parking lot looking on as my son informs me by yelling........ I WON DADDY. YOU LOSE!!!

Yep no shit, may face looks bad.

 

[Up4anything]

It was a slowmotion kind of fall. the kind where you know its going to hurt but there is nothing you can do but cuss on the way down.

Cuss on the way down!!! LMAO! That made me choke on my coffee

I did something similar the other day (tripped over dog and cracked forehead into open cabinet door - the skinny "sidde of the door" if you know what I mean) and my nephew says "Uncle B., what's a 'mother funkmeister'?"

(caught myself at the first syllable and, luckily, didn't send him back to my brother-in-law's with a new vocab)

 

[CISO1969]

When things like that that happen to me I have been training myself to use a new "almost curse". One that you know what I mean but really can't call me on it. I literally say "mother effer"

I have been in my neighborhood since 1998 and feel I have already taught all the kids how to say it correctlly... so now it's time to confuse them !

CISO1969

 

[cybee]

Thanks for starting my day off right. :lol: Why do people always like to read about others misfortunes, and why is it funny? hee hee. Though I am sorry for what you had to go through. Let me know if I can get you anything for Christmas, or maybe I should spell it Xmas for you. Thanks for story.

funkmeister, I'll remember that since I'm forbidden to cuss. If you come up with anymore replica cuss words please let me know so I can use them.

 

[CRK]

 

[Anubis]

No man, God doesn't hate you. There's just not enough proof that god Exists, so how can he hate? My reasoning is as follows;
In an ordered universe there must be a reason for anything and everything. So there must be a reason for all the calamities that happen every day. (picture the 2005 tsunami where 300,00ppl died ==> there must have been a reason for it) The reasons for this senseless massacre must either be that:

A) the people that died were evil and deserved punishment (and by extension we deserve everything bad that has ever happened.
or
B) God is a sadistic fuck who enjoys screwing humanity over.

But in a chaotic universe shit just happens without any reason. Therefore I take great solace that there's no reason for any of the calamities that inundate our daily lives and that Force Majeure is just another legal term the insurance companies cite when they bone you.


Cheers,



:twisted:

 

[Chicken Manny]

I say you go hide in the basement until 2007. Bring a raft in case another leaks appears.

 

[rah]

Tough week-Take a breath and hope for better.

LMAO