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Amusing jokes!

dabestone

Renowned Member
6/12/14
599
208
43
(1)Put your wife in a room & lock it.
Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & see who is Happy to see you, and who will BITE you !
(Group members are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals; who are now divorced; and living happily with their dog!!)

Don't laugh loud ----
The extended version says...
(2) Put your husband in a room & lock it.
Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & you will be happy to see your dog waiting for you.. but you'll be angry looking at your husband sleeping like he never slept before!!!

(3) Always keep your spouse’s picture as mobile screen saver.
Whenever you face a problem, see the picture & say:
"if I can handle this, I can handle anything!"… Superb Attitude for Life!!


(4) If wife wants husband’s attention, she just has to look sad & uncomfortable.
If husband wants wife’s attention, he just has to look comfortable & happy.


(5)A Philosopher HUSBAND said:- "Every WIFE is a ‘Mistress’ of her Husband…
“Miss†for first year & “Stress†for rest of the life…"!!!!

(6)Million Dollar Truth:
If Saturday and Sunday Don’t Excite You, then change your Friends.
If Monday doesn’t motivate you, then change your profession.
If Monday is too exciting, and you are dying to get to work, then you should change your spouse!!

(7)Do you remember the tingling feeling when you took the decision to get married? That was common sense leaving your body.


(8) Generally a man does not go to the place again where he has been cheated once…
But many people still go to their in-laws place..????

(9)*Pappu: Dad, l got selected for a role in a play for annual day!

Dad: What role are you playing?

Pappu: A husband!

Dad: Stupid, ask for a role with dialogues!


(10) Man outside phone booth: “Excuse me you are holding phone since 29 minutes and you haven’t spoken a wordâ€.
Man inside: “I am talking to my wifeâ€


(11) A very intelligent girl was asked the meaning of marriage..
She said- “sacrificing the admiration of hundred guys, to face the criticism of one idiotâ€


(12) Position of a husband is just like a Split AC, No matter how loud he is outdoor, He is designed to remain silent indoor!

(13)Best one line ad by a married man on OLX:
*"For Sale – Wedding Suit, used only once by Mistake……"
 

kilowattore

Sales Moderator / Section Moderator
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Lol @ no.10 :lol:
 

Steelfish

Hǝɐpᴉᴎƃ ꓭɐɔʞ ᗡoʍᴎ Ոᴎpǝᴙ
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lol-022.gif
 

dabestone

Renowned Member
6/12/14
599
208
43
Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?


Signed,
Desperate Housewife


Reply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind:

Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1.

Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly. wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

Good Luck,
IT Support