AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a
cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be
almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by
getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by
simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and
bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent
you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze
button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then
you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you
will forget all about the toothache.
8. You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't
move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the
duct tape.
9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
Thought for the day:
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
Oh, by the way,
You should always be really nice to your family and friends; you
never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES..........THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD
FOR ANYTHING ........BUT..........THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR
FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a
cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be
almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by
getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by
simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and
bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent
you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze
button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then
you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you
will forget all about the toothache.
8. You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't
move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the
duct tape.
9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
Thought for the day:
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
Oh, by the way,
You should always be really nice to your family and friends; you
never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES..........THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD
FOR ANYTHING ........BUT..........THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR
FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.