need your unbiased opinion please

[ahw676]

what I'd like is for him to just let it be..
it didn't bother him until his gf came up and then left.
I think he's just feeling heart pains ya know ..

thats a lie.. all were doing is pretending it didn't happen so we can look at each other, its still there in the back of our minds.

hopefully it will stay there for a year until we can move on to our separate places.

Well, I didn't know that (a) Katie had already tried sincerely to be nice to Sam and (b) that he's a jerk to ALL of your friends, and not just her. In this case, I don't think that Sam necessarily even has to be gay (as many have suggested) to be jealous. I suspect that he's jealous that you have a local girlfriend and are popular with so many that don't care for him. Of course, we all know that he's created this whole scenario himself by rejecting all of your friends outright. But he's probably not asking anyone else for insight.

If Sam is not doing anything active about trying to make things uncomfortable for Katie and the two of you are able to bury this situation, at least on the outside, then you're probably right in thinking that you can make this work for the time that you need. It's probably only going to come to a head if any of the parties tries to force the issue and become more aggressive than this. But doesn't sound like either of you is inclined to do that, so hopefully you can regain your status quo and everyone learns to live with it.

 

[seventhexile]

Seventh, it seems you are defending yourself against the people that say they are on the side of Sam.

Its true, I really did try to ask this and answer everything w/ an unbiased opinion.
(I used to play chess against myself, sounds easy.. but its actually quite difficult because you start to favor one side over the other, takes some real concentration to try and be unbiased)

anyways - as I started answering things more, and clearing up any misconceptions or places I was fuzzy on details - I started realizing like many of you have said..

1) he might have a crush on me...

2) he might just be jealous that my gf is able to come over - if that's the case sorry mate, but I could care less if that makes you uncomfortable, get over it and grow up.

3) I thought maybe it is because they don't get along, but his actions don't change (ie in his room on the phone) when shes around or not around.. (well to be 100% fair, when shes around he can't talk to me as much because he doesn't like to talk to me in front of her.. ) .. but that's fine because I am home enough w/ out katie that he can talk to me when he's not on the phone....

so those are the 3 things I've come up with.

oh also

1) it is Sam's place 50% as well.. and he should feel comfortable in his place:
well its also 50% my place.. I should be able to have her over 2 days a week at night!
yes 2 days a week at night (when he's in his room anyways) is not a big deal.
but also the bigger part to that is, I don't like all of his friends - but I don't have a problem with them coming over because it doesn't effect me.. sometimes I feel uncomfortable (oh god there are ppl over, I have to put pants on instead of walk around in my boxers.....) ha but I deal because not everything is about me.

2) about the moving out. - I have 2 groups of friends who would like me to move in w/ them. - I think I will wait it out and stay here for as long as I can before packing up and moving in w/ any of them.

3) sams kinda an ass.. if it doesn't benefit him 92% or more.. he's not involved.
example when we moved into the apartment.. he wouldn't help pay for any decorations.. we just had blank walls everywhere, because "well in 2 years the decorations aren't going to pay me back or anything" .. I was like you cheap fucking prick I'm just asking you for 20-30 to decorate the place so we don't live in a hotel room for 2 years.
.........................buuut that being said I know he is a good person deep down inside, like theres been a few times I haven't gone back to my place on a school night and he knew I was driving back from some where - so he's given me a call to make sure everything is ok.
.... and ya he is an acquaintance, but he's also becoming a friend.. but one of those friends you can only listen to / be around for an hour or two before you must hide in fear of killing someone.

so..
the conclusion

I'll basically just keep things as they are, and if he brings it up again explain to him.. that in a perfect world he might be able to pick his teachers, enemies and his roommates girlfriend..
in the real world he's going to have to deal with her coming over 2 days a week..

worst case he calls housing on me and they laugh at him ( yes.. housing is run more or less by other college kids, and most likely they will laugh )

And then he says he's moving out - our leases are actually separate and fully independent. So if he or I move out it doesn't effect the others room / payments or anything. - - but I'm hoping I can keep that to the last resort.

and then after the year we'll both move onto our separate ways. possibly stay in touch, possibly not.
(I didn't really talk to him frosh and soph year)

- Thanks again all for the great advice !!
those who sided w/ me and those who sided against me - really gave me alot to think about and set me on the right path

much much much thanks !



"anyone want to get some beers and just chill"
maybe grab a 6 pack of naddy ice

...and a big black dildo"

 

[R2D4]

Sam doesn't like many folks. He is not only jealous, he is also being childish. He is a friend to 7 but he is an opposite personality. This makes them incompatible as roommates. Sam will have a very rough time in an environment where there is a chain of command at work. He will never really have too many friends because of his unwillingness to compromise. Ride it out if you must and chalk it up to experience.

 

[CHOB]

"anyone want to get some beers and just chill"
maybe grab a 6 pack of naddy ice

...and a big black dildo"

Bro! This will be awesome bro! take your pants off.

 

[Para]

And then he says he's moving out - our leases are actually separate and fully independent. So if he or I move out it doesn't effect the others room / payments or anything. - - but I'm hoping I can keep that to the last resort.

That information doesn't change what you've decided but makes it easier on you if you had any (in my view, unjustified) remorse... if HE's not happy, HE can leave... in fact HE should leave... otherwise, I'm calling bluff!

 

[UFUKNUT]

if you pay half the rent they should be able to do what you want. if he doesnt like it, pay less and not have her over as much. but its equally yours as it is his.

 

[jonboy]

Ive been in the same position. Its difficult and it does have you doubting your other half too at some times, its natural. Dont pick sides, i just agreed to disagree.