Jim Morrison - After the statutory rape scandal of the late 1980s, he headed into hiding until firefighters had to break down the door of his house in 1992 to get his 980-pound body to a hospital for weight loss treatment and medical care. A month later, he fell into a persistent vegetative state, becoming the subject of a lengthy public debate about when to "pull the plug." Ultimately, his wife, Jane Fonda pulled the plug in 1995 after lengthy court battles with his family.
Freddie Mercury - Considered becoming an AIDS awareness spokesman, but decided he liked unprotected sex way too much and instead, started a campaign with the slogan, "AIDS isn't even real." Possibly related to this, Elton John, Michael Stipe, and Clay Aiken, amongst others, are now dead and TLC's "Waterfalls" is not as big of a hit. In 1996, Mercury was arrested for possession of cocaine. While serving a 30-day prison sentence, he discovered the Islam religion and reverted back to his birth name of Farrokh Bulsara. He began to despise Queen's entire catalog, and as a result, he's never able to watch a sports game again. He unsuccessfully sued Borat for "stealing his look." And then, he died of AIDS earlier this year.
Bon Scott - AC/DC's career is exactly as it is now, since they somehow managed to find the one other guy on Earth with the same voice as Bon Scott. However, Brian Johnson went on to take over as lead singer for Van Halen when David Lee Roth left and the tight, cohesive unit became one of the most successful bands in history - in terms of fans, album sales, tour revenue, and critical acclaim. With free time on his hands, Sammy Hagar is an alcohol kingpin, dealing in tequila, rum, and vodka, but he remains virtually unknown in the music world for anything other than the song "I Can't Drive 55" - however, without his high profile from being in Van Halen, his anguished pleas for higher speed limits would go ignored, and commutes take that much longer. Also, every NASCAR driver would now have a different favorite song.
Elvis Presley - Elvis continued his career, and even though his albums got progressively worse, fans adored him. He turned into the real life Bill Brasky - with people making up crazy legends about him that they truly believed, which in turn caused US Weekly to be created 10 years earlier... he also played Dick Clark's "New Year's Rockin' Eve" every year, he was huge. He started getting angry in interviews, occasionally yelling "DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY GIRLS I'VE HAD IN MY LIFE??! I'M ELVIS, DAMMIT!!!" before dying of natural causes in 1993.
Jimi Hendrix - After years of languishing in obscurity, he made a massive comeback due to being featured in a skit on "Chappelle's Show," played the Super Bowl halftime show [being considered vaguely obscene], and did multiple-night stands in various cities that sold out instantly, while finding new ways to screw over record labels and give his music away for free. As a side note, Prince no longer exists in this alternate universe.
Janis Joplin - She is currently running her own chain of health food stores with her three-five lesbian partners including, but not limited to, Anne Heche and Melissa Etheridge. Also speaks with a voice box - not because of smoking, but because her vocal cords were so rough to begin with that they simply gave out around the age of 45. As such, she frightens people every year as the MC of Lilith Fair, though the participants can't get enough of her organic food, which she sells at a booth there - right between the Frisbee stand and the hackey-sack stand.
Freddie Mercury - Considered becoming an AIDS awareness spokesman, but decided he liked unprotected sex way too much and instead, started a campaign with the slogan, "AIDS isn't even real." Possibly related to this, Elton John, Michael Stipe, and Clay Aiken, amongst others, are now dead and TLC's "Waterfalls" is not as big of a hit. In 1996, Mercury was arrested for possession of cocaine. While serving a 30-day prison sentence, he discovered the Islam religion and reverted back to his birth name of Farrokh Bulsara. He began to despise Queen's entire catalog, and as a result, he's never able to watch a sports game again. He unsuccessfully sued Borat for "stealing his look." And then, he died of AIDS earlier this year.
Bon Scott - AC/DC's career is exactly as it is now, since they somehow managed to find the one other guy on Earth with the same voice as Bon Scott. However, Brian Johnson went on to take over as lead singer for Van Halen when David Lee Roth left and the tight, cohesive unit became one of the most successful bands in history - in terms of fans, album sales, tour revenue, and critical acclaim. With free time on his hands, Sammy Hagar is an alcohol kingpin, dealing in tequila, rum, and vodka, but he remains virtually unknown in the music world for anything other than the song "I Can't Drive 55" - however, without his high profile from being in Van Halen, his anguished pleas for higher speed limits would go ignored, and commutes take that much longer. Also, every NASCAR driver would now have a different favorite song.
Elvis Presley - Elvis continued his career, and even though his albums got progressively worse, fans adored him. He turned into the real life Bill Brasky - with people making up crazy legends about him that they truly believed, which in turn caused US Weekly to be created 10 years earlier... he also played Dick Clark's "New Year's Rockin' Eve" every year, he was huge. He started getting angry in interviews, occasionally yelling "DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY GIRLS I'VE HAD IN MY LIFE??! I'M ELVIS, DAMMIT!!!" before dying of natural causes in 1993.
Jimi Hendrix - After years of languishing in obscurity, he made a massive comeback due to being featured in a skit on "Chappelle's Show," played the Super Bowl halftime show [being considered vaguely obscene], and did multiple-night stands in various cities that sold out instantly, while finding new ways to screw over record labels and give his music away for free. As a side note, Prince no longer exists in this alternate universe.
Janis Joplin - She is currently running her own chain of health food stores with her three-five lesbian partners including, but not limited to, Anne Heche and Melissa Etheridge. Also speaks with a voice box - not because of smoking, but because her vocal cords were so rough to begin with that they simply gave out around the age of 45. As such, she frightens people every year as the MC of Lilith Fair, though the participants can't get enough of her organic food, which she sells at a booth there - right between the Frisbee stand and the hackey-sack stand.
