Poor ST. Peter

[copperhead]

Jesus was on the cross as He was being crusified.St. Peter was in the crowd despondent over the events that were happening.All of a sudden Jesus calls out to ST. Peter,"PETER",St.Peter takes off and tries to see what Jesus wants of him but before he could get to the cross the roman guards grab him lop off his right arm and throw him back in the crowd.Jesus sees this and hangs his head in sorrow.Again he looks up and says,"Peter",again ST.Peter takes off and tries to get near the cross again the guards intercept him this time they lop off his left arm throw him back with the rest of the crowd.Poor St. Peter standing there with no arms no matter.Again he hears Jesus calling for him again he tries again the guards stop him,this time off comes his right leg!Back in the crowd is ST.Peter no arms jumping up and down on his left leg.Well you guessed it Jesus is really desperate to talk to ST.Peter he wants to tell him something very important ST.Peter can sence this so he valiantly tries to hop to the cross,the guards are fed up and off comes poor ST. Peter`s remaining leg.Well what a site there he is poor ST.Peter on the ground just a torso is left,the crowd sees him just laying there meen while Jesus is adamant that he has to tell ST.Peter something the crowd has pity both for what Jesus wants to tell ST.Peter and for ST.Peter putting in such a courageous effort in tryinmg to get to him.The guards see this and they too feel pity for the both of them so they decide to pick up ST.Peter and lay him at the foot of the cross so that Jesus can finally tell him what he wants.ST.Peter looks up at him and says,"Yes my lord I am here what is it that you want of me?'
Jesus looks down at ST.Peter and says<"OH NOTHING REALLY ITS JUST THAT I CAN SEE YOUR HOUSE FROM HERE."

 

[RayBelCons]

The priest told about the power of prayer. Paul and Amy, a middle aged couple, had been having maritial problems of late, so they decided to pray. And pray hard they did.
The next day, Amy visited the priest and said, "Father, I have the most amazing story to tell, after years of not getting along to well, our desire flamed into burning fire. Our prayers were answered in a blaze of passion while bending over a sack of potatoes. Paul charged me like a bull!! He took me there and then!!
The priest says "Yes prayer can be powerfull"
The next day, Paul comes back and relates a similiar story. Father, he says, I saw her over that sack of potatoes and passion burned me alive. My heart pounded and I just had to have her right then. I couldn't wait another second.
The priest again says "Prayer can be powerful"
But Father, will this get us thrown out of chruch?
No son, why do you ask?
Well, it sure got us thrown out of the supermarket...........