Has anyone ever been fined for riding a bicycle in a California swimming pool? Or for peeing in the ocean in Portugal? No matter how ridiculous the world's weirdest laws may seem, there are some that could trip up travellers who feel it's perfectly acceptable to, say, wear a Jerry Lewis mask in Cannes, France (a $20 fine) or kill a sasquatch in Skamania County, Wash. (a $1,000 penalty).
That said, the following list adheres to a couple rules of its own: We omitted laws in places most travellers would never, ever visit. (No offence Pine Island, Minn., but it's unlikely we'll ever find ourselves strolling your snowy streets and neglect to tip our hat to a cow — a $15 fine.) We also left out laws that no one — we hope — could ever conceivably break. (We're looking at you, Florida, where we have to wonder how a law prohibiting sex with porcupines ever came into being.)
In short, this list has a practical side, however unlikely it is that you'll be nabbed for hunting camels in Arizona.
Food foibles
If you favour soup as a starter, remember that you could be arrested for slurping it in public in New Jersey. If ice cream is your dessert of choice — but you're still stuffed from all that soup — don't be tempted to slip the cone into your coat in Lexington, Ky., where pocketing an ice cream cone is against the law. And if, after being nabbed for slurping soup and stashing ice cream, you're absolutely famished, it's not okay to finish your meal in Chicago if the restaurant is on fire.
Clothes encounters
We've all been guilty of fashion crimes, but a laundry crime? Yes, in Minnesota you could be fined for hanging male and female underwear together on the same washing line.
In Florida, gender mixing of another type can get you in trouble, as men wearing any kind of strapless gown in public can be written up. (There was no word on whether spaghetti straps or halter tops are acceptable.)
Italy's contribution to this list, meanwhile, is gender neutral: both men and women who are deemed "obese" are forbidden from wearing polyester. Yet even the buffest bodies are kept in check in Victoria, Australia, where it is illegal to wear pink hot pants after midday on a Sunday
Getting there
A holiday in Maine can get started on the wrong foot the moment you step off the plane — especially if it's still in flight (a $500 fine). If you plan on renting a car while on vacation, be aware that driving while sleeping is illegal in Tennessee (seems reasonable), and driving on the roads — yes, those paved areas generally meant for cars — is illegal in New Brunswick (seems ... what!?!). And if you get pulled over in New Jersey, and the police officer asks, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" do not respond with, "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you." That snarky remark will draw an automatic $300 fine.
Animal antics
There's more to Minnesota than the aforementioned town of Pine Island (and its weird bovine hat-tipping laws), which is why travellers to the Land O' Lakes should be aware that it's illegal to cross state lines with a duck on top of your head.
You don't have to wear any kind of waterfowl to be nabbed in Oklahoma, where you can be arrested merely for making "ugly faces" at a dog. What's more infuriating than someone making an ugly face? A copycat, of course, which could be why "imitating animals" is illegal in Miami. And if you were imitating a porcupine in order to seduce it, well, you already know where the state of Florida stands on that.
Keep it clean
They say cleanliness is next to godliness, so we're not sure why it's illegal, on Sundays, to have a bath in Massachusetts or to sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer in Providence, R.I. (It's also illegal to go to bed without bathing in Massachusetts every day of the week, which on Sundays yields a classic Catch 22.) You can bathe whenever you like in Los Angeles — just don't put two babies in the tub at the same time. Etobicoke, Ont., is equally lenient when it comes to bath timing, so long as the tub contains no more than 3.5 inches of water.
Bad romance
There are certain rules you should keep in mind on some romantic getaways. In South Carolina, for example, unmarried women are not allowed to buy edible panties. In Iowa, you're breaking the law if you kiss for more than five minutes. You can kiss for as long as you like in Eureka, Nev., so long as the gentleman is not sporting a moustache. For single travellers, be careful about using the old "what's your sign?" line in Sedona, Ariz. After all, it's illegal to lie about it.
Sexy time
One thing leads to another on your romantic getaway and things are heating up. But ladies, if you decide to slip into something more comfortable in front of a picture of a man in Oxford, Ohio, you could be dinged for $100. And gentlemen, be aware that in Alexandria, Minn., it is illegal for you to have sardines on your breath while having sex. (How you ever got past first base with fish breath is another question.) And just to be absolutely sure that safe sex is being practised, the wise lawmakers of Connersville, Wis., have decreed that it's illegal for a man to fire his gun while a woman is having an orgasm.
Money troubles
We've all smacked a vending machine from time to time. After all, what's worse than spending your last dime on a Snickers bar that just won't drop? But you've got to control your rage right across the U.S.A., where hitting vending machines is against the law. Losing some small change isn't quite as infuriating if you happen to come from a wealthy background, but don't try to fake it in Washington State, where pretending to have wealthy parents can draw a fine. And in what seems like an effort to prevent idle parental threats from becoming reality, the good state of Florida — arguably the world's weird law epicentre — has determined that it is illegal to sell your children.
That said, the following list adheres to a couple rules of its own: We omitted laws in places most travellers would never, ever visit. (No offence Pine Island, Minn., but it's unlikely we'll ever find ourselves strolling your snowy streets and neglect to tip our hat to a cow — a $15 fine.) We also left out laws that no one — we hope — could ever conceivably break. (We're looking at you, Florida, where we have to wonder how a law prohibiting sex with porcupines ever came into being.)
In short, this list has a practical side, however unlikely it is that you'll be nabbed for hunting camels in Arizona.
Food foibles
If you favour soup as a starter, remember that you could be arrested for slurping it in public in New Jersey. If ice cream is your dessert of choice — but you're still stuffed from all that soup — don't be tempted to slip the cone into your coat in Lexington, Ky., where pocketing an ice cream cone is against the law. And if, after being nabbed for slurping soup and stashing ice cream, you're absolutely famished, it's not okay to finish your meal in Chicago if the restaurant is on fire.
Clothes encounters
We've all been guilty of fashion crimes, but a laundry crime? Yes, in Minnesota you could be fined for hanging male and female underwear together on the same washing line.
In Florida, gender mixing of another type can get you in trouble, as men wearing any kind of strapless gown in public can be written up. (There was no word on whether spaghetti straps or halter tops are acceptable.)
Italy's contribution to this list, meanwhile, is gender neutral: both men and women who are deemed "obese" are forbidden from wearing polyester. Yet even the buffest bodies are kept in check in Victoria, Australia, where it is illegal to wear pink hot pants after midday on a Sunday
Getting there
A holiday in Maine can get started on the wrong foot the moment you step off the plane — especially if it's still in flight (a $500 fine). If you plan on renting a car while on vacation, be aware that driving while sleeping is illegal in Tennessee (seems reasonable), and driving on the roads — yes, those paved areas generally meant for cars — is illegal in New Brunswick (seems ... what!?!). And if you get pulled over in New Jersey, and the police officer asks, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" do not respond with, "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you." That snarky remark will draw an automatic $300 fine.
Animal antics
There's more to Minnesota than the aforementioned town of Pine Island (and its weird bovine hat-tipping laws), which is why travellers to the Land O' Lakes should be aware that it's illegal to cross state lines with a duck on top of your head.
You don't have to wear any kind of waterfowl to be nabbed in Oklahoma, where you can be arrested merely for making "ugly faces" at a dog. What's more infuriating than someone making an ugly face? A copycat, of course, which could be why "imitating animals" is illegal in Miami. And if you were imitating a porcupine in order to seduce it, well, you already know where the state of Florida stands on that.
Keep it clean
They say cleanliness is next to godliness, so we're not sure why it's illegal, on Sundays, to have a bath in Massachusetts or to sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer in Providence, R.I. (It's also illegal to go to bed without bathing in Massachusetts every day of the week, which on Sundays yields a classic Catch 22.) You can bathe whenever you like in Los Angeles — just don't put two babies in the tub at the same time. Etobicoke, Ont., is equally lenient when it comes to bath timing, so long as the tub contains no more than 3.5 inches of water.
Bad romance
There are certain rules you should keep in mind on some romantic getaways. In South Carolina, for example, unmarried women are not allowed to buy edible panties. In Iowa, you're breaking the law if you kiss for more than five minutes. You can kiss for as long as you like in Eureka, Nev., so long as the gentleman is not sporting a moustache. For single travellers, be careful about using the old "what's your sign?" line in Sedona, Ariz. After all, it's illegal to lie about it.
Sexy time
One thing leads to another on your romantic getaway and things are heating up. But ladies, if you decide to slip into something more comfortable in front of a picture of a man in Oxford, Ohio, you could be dinged for $100. And gentlemen, be aware that in Alexandria, Minn., it is illegal for you to have sardines on your breath while having sex. (How you ever got past first base with fish breath is another question.) And just to be absolutely sure that safe sex is being practised, the wise lawmakers of Connersville, Wis., have decreed that it's illegal for a man to fire his gun while a woman is having an orgasm.
Money troubles
We've all smacked a vending machine from time to time. After all, what's worse than spending your last dime on a Snickers bar that just won't drop? But you've got to control your rage right across the U.S.A., where hitting vending machines is against the law. Losing some small change isn't quite as infuriating if you happen to come from a wealthy background, but don't try to fake it in Washington State, where pretending to have wealthy parents can draw a fine. And in what seems like an effort to prevent idle parental threats from becoming reality, the good state of Florida — arguably the world's weird law epicentre — has determined that it is illegal to sell your children.
