Lawyers should never ask grandma a question if they aren't prepared
for the answer.
In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.
He approached her and asked; "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment
to me.
You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them
behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a
two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs.. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he
was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife
with three different women.
One of them was your wife. Yes I know him."
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice
said:
"If either of you f#ckers asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to
the electric chair."
for the answer.
In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.
He approached her and asked; "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment
to me.
You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them
behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a
two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs.. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he
was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife
with three different women.
One of them was your wife. Yes I know him."
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice
said:
"If either of you f#ckers asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to
the electric chair."
ouch