- 30/9/06
- 11,730
- 1,451
- 113
Absolutely Brilliant The European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European
Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the
negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some
room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would
become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the
soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The
hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion,
and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik
enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced
with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year,
publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage
where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage
the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate
speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be
reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During
ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no
mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil
al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. If zis mad you
smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European
Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the
negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some
room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would
become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the
soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The
hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion,
and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik
enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced
with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year,
publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage
where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage
the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate
speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be
reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During
ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no
mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil
al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. If zis mad you
smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
