Drivers.......Beware.......!!

[col88]

A man and a woman is involve in a car accident. The crash is a bad one and both their cars are totally wrecked but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says "so you're a man, thats interesting. I 'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars!, there nothing left but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet, be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.
The man replied, Yes,yes, I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God.

The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle..., My car is completely wrecked, but this bottle of wine did'nt break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune".

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nodded his head in agreement, opens it , drinks half the bootle of wine and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back and hands it back to the man.

The man asked, Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies," No, not a drop, I think I'll just wait for the Police"........ :twisted:


cheers.....

col88

 

[col88]

Son in law..........

An elderly lady came home early one day and heard strange noises coming from one bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with the vibrator.

"What are you doing?" asked the mother.
"Mom, I'm 40 years old and look at me. I'm am ugly. I'll never get married, so this is pretty much my husband." The mother walked out of the room, goyang,goyang her head.

The next day, the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom and upon entering the room, found her daughter using the vibrator.
"What the hell are you doing?', he asked.
His daughter replied, "i've already told Mom, I'm 40 years old now and ugly, I'll will never get married, so this is as close as I'll getting a husband".
The father walked out of the room shaking his head.


The next day, the mother came home to find her husband with a beer in one hand and a vibrator in another, watching a football game on TV.
"What on earth are you doing?", she asked.
The husband replied, "What does it look like I'm going?, I'm having a beer and watching football with my son in Law" ........


cheers..........haveaniceday


col88

[/b]

 

[sub4me]

LMAO.

 

[soysauce8]

I don't get it, does it mean drinking & driving saved them? :lol:

 

[bob1919a]

First one is HILARIOUS! :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

 

[offshore]

Amazingly, this was a workable form of defence in the early days of DUI in Oz!
Many drivers after an accident, would pull a bottle of spirits from under the seat and drink a large amount.
"Phew, needed that, the accident really shook me up" in front of as many witnesses as possible!
And as alcohol was consumed after the event, it was accepted as an excuse.
THEN the law was changed!
Offshore

 

[brtelec]

Funny stuff