Bad Things To Hear In Hospital........

[BADWIN BING]

'Can you feel that? You can feel my finger? Do you like it? Does it feel good? Yeah? Oh, shit the doctor's here!'

'I'm afraid we've cut your cock off by mistake, but all the nursing staff tell me it was really small anyway.'

'Do you want to take the bone home for the dog?'

'The good news is, your new knee joint is working perfectly. The bad news is the surgeon didn't realise you were lying on your front.'

'We don't use local anaesthetic any more, just take a swig of this, bite down on the wood and try not to listen to the saw.'

'Now we don't want to alarm you, but this is your lawyer, your immediate family and Father O'Flannery.'

'I realise you're trying to make this anal probe as easy as possible Doctor, but do we need the mood lighting and music?'

'If you can't make it to the toilet, just pull the cord and one of the nurses will come come and humiliate you while you shit the bed.'

 

[trksh-bzr]

:lol:

"the good news is that we managed to seperate the tumor from the brain, the bad news is that we left the tumor and removed the brain"

well I guess that would good news if you were George W. Bush

 

[AskMeAgain]

You have acute angina and your tits aint bad either...

We're going to put you to sleep now becaus your old and its the kindest thing to do...

Its the big C I'm afraid... the sign fell of the cafeteria and hit your wife on the head....

No seriously it says genitals and not tonsils on this surgery form.

 

[ThinkBachs]

 

[sfa437]

My wife went to the docs for her checkup. I had a few too many beers and can't recall if he said she had AIDS or Alzheimers.

To solve this I'm gonna drive her out into the woods about 5 miles or so and drop her off.

If she comes home I'm not banging her!!!!

 

[frigpig]

"oops!"

 

[waddster]

"There was a bit of a mishap during your vasectomy, but you will find there is a lot you can do with only one testacle." (Doctor)